The King of the Kongs: Rating the movies from worst to best

     With the release of Kong: Skull Island in a few days, everybody is in an uproar about the big ape. With so many decent reviews and retrospectives out there, such as the ones done by my friend at The Gryphon's Lair, I don't feel it necessary to do any major reviews or retrospective pieces. Instead I just want to give my two cents one how the Kong movies stack up to each other. I will be including the original movie, all of its American remakes and the two Japanese films by TOHO. Without further ado, Let's get right to the fun!

#7 King Kong Lives

     It is to nobodies surprise that this is usually considered the worst Kong movie to date. Between a plot that can be overly confusing at times and generally forgettable characters, this isn't just a bad Kong movie, it's a pretty bad movie. That is not to say it has nothing going for it. Despite any warranted criticism of the Dino De Laurentiis films, The Kong suits and animatronics used in them were pretty decent. While, in my opinion, not the best Kong has ever looked, I cannot say it is the worst the big ape has ever looked either. That honor goes to another Kong film that I, ironically, like a lot more. TBH I don't have much to say in this film in particular. It's a pretty bad film with decent effects. I would watch it if you are a monster movie buff, like myself, but beyond that I don't think I can muster it in me to recommend this film.







#6 King Kong Escapes

     Toho has an interesting Film history when it comes to King Kong. Two movies, yet neither of them are canon with the other, at least arguably not. Truth be told I cannot bring myself to hate this movie but I'm hard pressed to say its a great Kong movie either. The movie is entertaining, The suit looks better than the film that came before, and it introduces some new Kaiju to the TOHO monster-verse. The problem with this movie, it doesn't feel to be about Kong. The movie honestly feels like it is about the mad Scientist Doctor Who. Normally, that would be a huge minus for me, but two things put this well and above King Kong lives for me. The first is the human characters are a delight, especially that villain. Dr. Who seems like a parody of Dr. Hinelar from Megaranger before Megaranger existed and I love him for it. The other thing is the monster fights. I fear the day I ever grow tired of some good ol' suited monster rumbles. Basically, while not the most Kong-centric of the Kong movies, it is very enjoyable and worthy of a watch.





#5 King Kong versus Godzilla

     I can see the rage comments already. Full disclosure, I love this movie, but as I was thinking about where I would place this on the list a few things kept nagging at my mind that I can't ignore. Without a doubt, this is the worst-looking Kong has ever looked, and hopefully will ever look, on film. the lack of fluid movement is very odd. the other problem is, this movie is just as much about Godzilla as it is about Kong. This obviously means that Kong doesn't get as much focus as the other films, but admittedly this ends up being a fairly minor issue. The other problem is the strange shifting of styles in the middle of fights, while can be perceived as humorous, is also odd and kind of distracting. man-in-suit to puppet, to man-in-suit again, then to stop motion, etc. the changes away from suitmaion are brief but still stick out like a sore thumb.
     The biggest issue with this film that makes it not work as well as a Kong movie, is that Kong wasn't technically supposed to be in this movie. I won't go into details, but there is a whole mess involving King Kong, Frankenstein and Godzilla and about 2 or 3 movies that were suddenly changed to another monster at one point in production. Once you know that, you can tell that Kong feels like an afterthought at times, instead of the intended character. That being said, this is a very good monster mash that belongs in everybody's collection. This movie is a lot more fun to watch than a lot of movies on this list, but you just can't be crowned King of Kong without being entirely about Kong it seems.

#4 King Kong (1976)

     This is going to take some explaining. This list is not about seeing which is the best film overall. I am looking at these films as representations of King Kong, and seeing how they hold as a King Kong movie. Which movie portrayed the ape better? which one portrayed the story or told a new story the best? which one is enjoyable to watch? If I was seriously judging these movies based on overall film quality, this would not be as high as it is. That being said, This movie is still pretty okay and has many admiral qualities hiding in there.
     First of all, This is the best looking Kong suit hands down. Not the best looking Kong, but the best looking Kong suit. I feel the tension around his presence whenever he is on screen....at least at first. Much like another Kong film. there are some light hearted moments that detract from the seriousness of the whole thing. That is not to say the effects are not impressive. The Kong in this film is very expressive, a feature I believe to be absolutely necessary for Kong. Also many techniques honoring the original movie are used, such as giant animatronics, a giant model Kong hand many scaled miniatures for Kong to destroy.
      There are three things keeping this from being at least a good King Kong movie, in my opinion: First, the human characters are pretty bland. While the movie needs to focus on Kong, that focus will mean little if the humans aren't also engaging. it takes away from the drama and makes us feel less sympathetic with the humans when they make their moves. Second, aside from a giant snake, there are no dinosaurs or other creatures in this movie. King Kong has always been associated with dinosaurs and to not include them almost feels like sacrilege. At least King Kong versus Godzilla had the bonus of not being entirely about Kong, but still pitted him against a giant octopus and the greatest fire breathing dinosaur of them all. The final thing is how unnecessarily bloody this movie can get. The final scene when Kong gets shot down does not evoke as much emotion as the original and somewhat makes me uncomfortable instead of sad.
     There are a lot of flaws with this movie and it is very easy to call this film bad. I must give this film it's due respect, however. This movie was intended to be about Kong and the Kong we got was very well designed and was the catalyst for many decent effects. The reason I put this above King Kong versus Godzilla, (and I thought long and hard about this trust me) was because of what set each Kong movie above the other Kong films. This film had some very impressive practical effects including a giant animatronic. King Kong versus Godzilla had the appearance of Godzilla and some wonderfully campy monster fights. The problem there is, this is about Kong, not Godzilla. I do hold that King Kong versus Godzilla is a better movie, but the 1976 Dino De Laurentiis film just does a better job at being about Kong.

#3 Son of Kong

     I have heard people dislike this movie. While I can kind of see why, I feel that is it almost unfair to it. People dismiss this since it does not live up to the original film, but considering how good the original was, that almost seems like an unreasonable expectation. Is the movie bad? Absolutely not. Is the movie good? It has it's moments. This was the same creative team that made the original King Kong and there are many times where that shows. The cinematography is still great without living up to its predecessor, and it feels like a natural sequel. Anybody can believe that what is happening to Carl Denham and Captain Englehorn in this movie would happen after the events of King Kong.
     Some may be wondering, if I placed King Kong vs. Godzilla so low for not being entirely about Kong, why is this one so high, despite not being about Kong at all, but instead his son? The answer is right in the question. The movie is about Kong's son. I do not mind how Kong gets rebooted but the focus needs to be there for Kong to shine. This movie is just as much about the son of Kong as it is about Carl Denham. That is not to say the movie is perfect. The film can be a bit cartoony and awkward at times, but it weirdly fits if only to bring levity to the seriousness of some parts of the movie.
     I rank this movie high because of how much effort was put into this movie despite the disadvantage of time and resources. For having a low budget, compared to King Kong (1933), the spirit is still there and you feel like  you are always watching Kong when he is on screen. Stop motion is still in top form and the backdrops are still good. I can't see this movie as better than say, Mighty Joe Young, but is still one of the better King Kong movies to watch. I was satisfied the whole way through and recommend this to anybody who loves the original.

#2 Peter Jackson's King Kong

     I have heard a fair number of complaints that this movie is too long. While that is a strike against it, it is a very small strike due to how well the movie flows. As I mentioned above this isn't about how good or bad the movie is, this is about how I feel Kong was portrayed within the confines of his movie. I personally believe that this is the best looking Kong has ever looked in the cinema, at least until I can properly judge Skull Island. Much more so than the Dino De Laurentiis Kong and, arguably, any other Kong, this one is VERY expressive. Kong acts the most like a giant ape in this one but still carries some more human qualities.
     This version of Kong also seems to best a few of it's predecessors with a tirade of dinosaurs and larger than life creatures for Kong and the humans to deal with. This movie fully understands that the adventures on the Island are just as important, if not more so, than Kong running amok in New York. There is always something for everyone to do, be it fight a creature or further the plot on the ship/skull island. The Actors that interact with Kong do a very commendable job. Naomi Watts is, in my opinion, the best Anne Darrow ever put on screen. Jack Black is not Robert Armstrong but still plays a respectable Carl Denham. There really isn't a bad performance in this movie that I can think of on the top of my head.
     This is all not to say that the movie is flawless. While I, personally, am not bothered by the runtime, I can see some viewers growing weary as this is the longest Kong movie to date. There is also an abundance of CG. It is well done CG, but do not expect many practical effects or rubber suits if you are a fan such as myself. There are a few scenes that can be seen as unnecessary, but they do offer their own type of charm like with the "Kong on Ice" scene or the infamous bug pit, which I still find awesome. Finally while no actor gives a "bad" performance per se, some may come across as boring. Adrian "Chicken Nose" Brody is the biggest offender of this, but he still interacts well with Kong and even has some pretty intense scenes towards the end.
     In my opinion, most of the major flaws can honestly be notched down to personal preference. The film honors the source material it came from and is packed with action with one of the most badass Kongs on screen. Everyone remembers the fight against the three T-Rexes. Everyone remembers the climax on the empire state building and everyone remembers the bug pit. I was truly thinking of putting this as number one but there was one thing about the next Kong I just couldn't ignore. Either way I encourage everyone to go out and see this movie.

#1 King Kong (1933)

     Much like the one ranked at #7, this probably comes as a surprise to nobody. The truth is, as much as people like to go against the grain and challenge ideas, sometimes things are commonly regarded the way they are for a reason. Almost everybody agrees this is the best Kong Movie, because it really is the best Kong movie. Everything from the cinematography to the animatronic puppetry is masterfully done. The characters, especially Carl Denham, are a treat to watch. As much as I love Jack Black and think he did the performance justice, Robert Armstrong is just too good at playing a sly producer. You just love to watch him work.
     Honestly, what can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said. I admire pretty much everything about the effects, the backdrops, characters and Kong himself. I should mention though, There was one thing about this movie that persisted in the back of my mind that tempted me to place it at number two. Unfortunately, that is, Kong himself. Do not get me wrong, Kong is at the best he can be right here. The problem is, apes are very expressive creatures and whether we like it or not, Gorillas and other intelligent apes are capable of human-like emotion. There are times in the film where Kong doesn't appear to have any emotion, but also times where he shows off that he can be angry, inquisitive, sad or even happy. I just feel the Kong in Peter Jackson's film was more expressive and it ultimately helped the performance immensely.
     All of that aside though, This film is a masterpiece and I absolutely cannot bring myself to not revere this movie as it deserves. Labelling this movie as "second-best Kong" would be a grave disservice. Not only was this film groundbreaking for Monster movies, it was groundbreaking for all of cinema around the world. This film started a Legacy of greatness that can only be mimicked by pretenders and cheap foreign knock off films. This film truly was a once in a lifetime motion picture, and I doubt any movie can replicate the experience or the impact ever again. With all of this in mind, I am proud to declare the original RKO production as the King of the Kongs!

    So the only thing left is the new movie. Expect a review of Kong: Skull Island next week! I hope all of you Tokunuts are as excited to see the big ape on screen once again as I am! Till next time, I am the Kaiju Kidd and I will see you all on Skull Island.